Weddings

People at weddings love talking about weddings.

Not the wedding they’re currently attending. Other weddings.

That’s how you pass the time at weddings. Talk about different weddings.

Remember that wedding with the fight? 

Oh yeah, was that the wedding where the father of the bride puked on the bride?

Or the wedding where the dog shat on the cake?

That was a great wedding. 

My favourite wedding was the one at Cana.

Fuck off Jesus, you weren’t invited to this wedding.

Oh weddings aren’t as good now as they used to be.

I like a simple wedding.

Our wedding is going to be very unique.

Are ye having the wedding in Longford?

No, our wedding will be in a working milking parlour. The cows will be at the wedding.

The band at this wedding is shit.

I was at a wedding where Slayer were the band. They played Angel of Death at that wedding.

Did your sister set a handbag on fire at ya wan’s wedding?

Yeah, she was so upset about it being better than her wedding.

Why did she not like her wedding?

Well, the dog shat on the cake at that wedding.

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