Balls of Limerick

Five limericks about Ireland and life.

Hush! He might hear you!

An Irish business man was accused of corruption,

So his lawyers took out an injunction,

Now the papers are all scared,

To write about payments undeclared,

And our justice system continues to malfunction.

 

Bursting

Please don’t sit beside me,

Or attempt to sit on my knee,

I love you just fine,

But I’m waiting until half time,

So I can stop holding in this big wee.

 

Happy & Glorious

I find it hilarious and incredibly obscene,

That hooligans want God to save their Queen,

While they throw bottles at foreign cops,

In their beer stained England tops,

And sing a song praising an ancien régime

 

You’re a skeptic

Never believe you’re the victim of a cheat,

Especially when it’s coming from the political elite,

They’ll say the rise of inflation,

Is due to all the immigration,

Blatantly lying to hold on to their seat.

 

Eyes off the prize

When going to the pub toilette,

It’s OK to chat to someone you’ve just met.

Although after undoing your flies,

Only make contact with his eyes,

As this is proper bathroom etiquette.

 

Easy Living

If your pockets aren’t that deep,

And your level of debt is steep,

Jimmy the locks on cars,

And keep an eye on unattended bars,

So you can travel and drink for cheap.

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