You can have a business suit, an iPad, big headphones and an expensive looking watch,
But travelling a bumpy road on a bus, no man looks dignified balancing a messenger bag on his crotch.
You ran your fingers through my hair and pinched me on the bum.
I have to say, that’s the weirdest thing that a referee ever did to me at a scrum.
Hello dear one
If I was the King of Togo, and I took you as my Queen,
You’d have to bring your laptop, so we can spam email everyone in Aberdeen.
Not just for Christmas
A pet dog has many uses, companionship being one of those,
But don’t misread an Andrex ad and use Spot to blow your nose.
Secret to longevity
If you want to live a long life, exercise and eat plenty of fruit and veg.
Avoid smoking and stressful situations like driving your car off a cliff ledge.