Desk Hopping Fuck the World

A poem about the useless fucker in the office

Desk hopping is a fabulous way

For you to look like you’re busy throughout the work day

Have a visit to each department, be obnoxious and risqué

and block an unemployed graduate’s potential opportunity for pay


You can do what you like without any fears

Your contract’s watertight – you’ve been here for years

If you’re asked to return to work, just break down in tears

report the offender to HR and ruin their careers


Spend most of your time sampling colleagues’ free treats

and bore them to death with tales of your mundane weekend feats

Broadcast contrarian opinions on immigrants and ‘benefit cheats’

Then rush back for five minutes at your neglected spreadsheets


See more poetry from the Gammy Eye here:

Working weak

Wheels Coming off the Bandwagon

Faster than a speeding couplet

Sean Nós-feratu

Balls of Limerick

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